


Fire Emblem: Three Political Houses

by 12inchGenis



Series: Fire Emblem: Three Political Houses [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Gen, Multi, Politics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-08-23 17:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 16,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20246482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/12inchGenis/pseuds/12inchGenis
Summary: At Garreg Mach, students learn valuable political skills from representatives all over the world.





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, my name is Gary Stewart, but some call me Garth. Some of you might have read my previous work, Saga of Trials & Eternal Fire: Tales x FE, and if you haven’t I highly recommend doing so now. It’ll make a lot of references and stuff make a lot more sense. But anyway, this story will be less action-y and more politically driven, so its new stuff for me, but I hope you’ll like it. For reference, the setting is Garreg Mach, the school from the new Fire Emblem: Three Houses, where nobles and commonors alike meet up to learn and discuss politics to lead the world.

I wake up in my room lights fluttering through the window. Rubbing my eyes I crawl out of bed and throw on my longcoat when I notice it, “Oh no, I’m gonna be late for class!” Booking it out my room I book it into the classroom, sitting so quickly I don’t notice where I sat. “Hey there, nice weather today”. Winking from the seat next to me is Claude, the leader of the Golden Deer house that I’m apart of. He smiles radiantly and it makes me sweat a little, looking to my other side, I notice my beautiful girlfriend Robin is sitting next to me. I figured this little exchange would annoy her but she doesn’t seem to mind too much so that’s good.

“Alright class enough chatting it’s time to hit the books!” Looking up from our chat we see our professor Byleth, the Enlightened One (enlightened centrist as we know him). “Today we’re gonna be talking about poltical infighting to start off the year. All through history politics have been slow because of both parties just not getting along man”. Really I kinda agree, people should just get along. “Think about the Tragedy of Duscur, I mean I’m not saying that I hate or judge people from Duscur, but I think that if you want to that should be fine, right?,”, hmmmm, I’m not too sure about that one and looking over Claude seems to be thinking with me. “Yo teach” he speaks up “I get where your coming from, but if we’re trying to get to real political communication, how can hating people help?”?

“Good question Claude, you make a good point, but what I’m really trying to get at here is that with issues like these, there are extremes on both sides that need to be addressed.”. Claude looking deep in thought so he starts thumbing through his textbook while Byleth continues his lesson. “So class, in order to help you as young leaders, we’ll be having some guests coming to the school to share their perspectives on the world. As an added bonus they’ll be engaging in open debate forums with the student body and faculty to share their opionons as well as to help students get real debating experience.”. This seems pretty cool. Looking around most people seem to think the same, everyone’s murmuring between themselves now and Robin giggles a little while Claude stretches out, having finished persuing his textbook. “I guess you’re gonna be busy as the house leader eh?” I say to Claude and he replies “Heh, we’ll see, I’m sure I won’t have too much trouble with it.”. The bell rings and class is dismissed.

Looking over at Robin and me with a passionate gaze Claude asks “Hey do you two want to join me for lunch and tea?” followed by a wink. Looking at her I notice Robin is sweating a little and so am I if I’m being totally honest. “Sure thing Claude, let’s head over to the Dining Hall.”. So we head over to the dining hall and grab a meal and sit down. We start to talking about our day and about government. Claude opens by stating “You know, I get that people have issues with the government, but while our systems might be flawed in a lot of ways, I think that the house leaders in our country honestly want what’s best for Fodlan and maybe people should have some faith in the system, instead of being overly cynical.”. While I consider the merit of his statement, I’m interrupted by a fist slamming on the table next to us. I look over to see a man pointing his finger in Claude’s face, who shouts “Distrust of government isn't baseless cynicism. It's realism!”! “Who could this rude gentleman be? And what points will he add to the discussion? Find out next time, on Fire Emblem: Three Political Houses!” Claude says, winking as a drum riff plays and the camera pans away.


	2. Sharp Discussion

“Distrust of government isn't baseless cynicism. It's realism!”! Looking over we see a rude man shouting and pointing his fingers at us. “Well now,”, Claude sets down his and begins to address the man, “I don’t quite think that’s a very good way of approaching things. The way I see it, mutual cooperation and trust is the best path to progress.”. The rude man looking kinda angery begins to fluster yelling “Look! You can ramble and prattle on and on about happines and singing kumbaya, but when it comes down to it, Facts and Logic are all that matter!” Damn hes pretty livid. 

“Now now Ben, calm yourself.”. From behind him a calm yet harsh voice comes out that I recognize as Edelgard, leader of the Black Donkeys house. “No I will not calm down this FOP is making a mockery of our established political systems.”. “Chill bro” I chime in “maybe the established systems need to change for us to reach progress.”. Claude seems to approve, but Ben is fuming now, he sure does not look happy. He grunts at us “listen here-”- but Edelgard embarrassed by his unsightly conduct knocks him out with a swish of her axe. “I apologize for his behavior, his conduct is highly unbecoming of a representative.”. “He was a representative?” I asked? “Yes, his name is Ben Shapiro, and he came here as an adjutant for the Black Donkeys house, but I don’t quite agree with his views sometimes.”. That’s pretty unsightly for him. 

Claude stretches his toned body and leaned back, watching it all go down. “Well anyway, we should get going lunch is over so we should get back to classes.”. So we start to funnel back to our classrooms. We get there a bit early so I start chatting with Robin and Claude. Claude starts chatting about various issues,and he’s really smart and charismatic so we agree with all he says. “Alright quiet down class” Bylethed coming back into the room. “We’ve been assigned a adjutant speaker to help with discussions and debates so soon we can start participating at the conferences with the Black Donkeys and Blue Elephants” everyone’s murmuring and even Claude who’s usually a cool cucumber seems excited. 

“So Teach, who is it?” Claude asks? Byleth response saying “I’m not sure what his name is, but he comes here from the country of Africa, specifically the state Chad.”. “Dang” says Claude, “that’s a long way, and that’s a place with a lot of issues, so hopefully he can share some good insights with us.”. “Well,”, says Byleth, “when it comes to places like Africa, you really just need to step back and look at the problems and you’ll start to notice that both sides are really contributing a lot to the issues but not helping much.”. The bell rings and class is dismissed. 

“Hey Garth” I look back and see Professor Byleth “can I speak to you a moment?”? Wondering what’s up I ask him “What’s up”. “The speaker from Chad will be coming here tomorrow, and for some reason I have a feeling you’ll really hit it off with him so I want you to lead the discussion tomorrow.”. Dang that’s a lot of pressure but I’ll sure do my best


	3. A Fateful Encounter

Going back to my dorm I bump but unfortunately not physically, into Claude who asks what I’m up to. I tell him what Byleth told me about the new speaker and how I’m leading the class and Claude seems pretty hyped up. “Yo Garth we should celebrate with a bonfire tomorrow night.”. Ah hell yeah. “Aw hell yea” i say to Claude getting pretty excited. “Well we should hit the beds for tonight” and I agree with him so we go back to our rooms to sleep. 

The next day I, on my way, to class, bump into Robin. Hey honey. “Howdy babe” she winks at me and my heart flutters. “You excited for class today?” She asks me. “Yeah, I met with the professor yesterday and he said I get to lead discussion with the new adjutant today. “Oh wow that’s great.”. We get to class and sit in our assigned seats next to Claude, who’s looking good as usual today. His smooth and supple skin glistens in the torchlight of the classroom. His hair flows down around his head like so many beautiful waterfalls. He’s almost as alluring as my darling Robin. Almost. 

“Okay class I have news that some people might find exciting today” lectures our professor Byleth. Wondering what it is the class starts murmuring, but we already know. Suddenly a door slams open, and everyone quiets down…

…

“Ay yo my man Garth, what it is with you man, it’s been years!” Looking I realize it’s one of my old friends. I rush over to him and we fist bump with both hands. “Class, this is our house’s representative, Corrin G. Harding.” says Byleth to the class “and today, he and Garth will be leading the discussion.”. Oh snap now we’re feeling the pressure, but seeing Robin giving me a thumbs up with a cute smile, and Claude winking at me, I know I can do this. 

“So Corrin (or Corring, as some call him, since it’s a nickname that combines his first name and middle initial), what do you want to discuss?”? “Yo thanks for asking big B.”. Byleth looks taken aback, but not displeased with this nickname. “Today we’s gonna be talking about an issue that’s really messed with me over the year, and that’s paedophillia, cuz that shit’s wack y’all.”. Damn, this guy tells it like it is. Claude nods to himself, I’m sure he’s been hit on as attractive as he is, and he’s still at the ripe age of 17, like myself, so we can relate to this serious topic. 

“When I grew up, in the hood and when i was just a lil G in Nohr big sis Camilla would always make me bathe with her and touch me a lot while she washed me all over. Than Xander would make me train swords with him and spank me when I lost.” Corrin opens. His transparency seems to have touched the class. And me as well, since I can relate due to my miserable time at the orphanage. I share a bit of my experience as well, and a few people in the class have gone through similar things, and we agreed that the most important thing is that we don’t let these things define us. With that, the class comes to an end and we leave the classroom. 

Later that night, I meet with Claude and Robin, and as Claude had promised, a raring bonfire has been prepared. Just like in class, I sit in between the two of them, and we kick back with our arms on each other's shoulders, enjoying a relaxing moment in the warm glow of the bonfire. “Ayyyyy yo, what’s a party without a little syyyrup” yells Corrin, coming over to use with a case in his hand. Looking closer, we see that the case is filled to the brim with both Country Time Lemonade and RC Cola, man’s got some good taste. Claude seems to think so as well. Claude and Corrin seem to hit it off, chatting eagerly, probably because Claude is a bit tan so they have an ethnic relation. While they chatter, Robin and I stroke each other’s hair, sipping Country Time Lemonade and thinking back on the good ol’ days.


	4. Eagle & Lion

The night’s winding down so we say our goodbyes and head back to our rooms. Claude winking tells us to have a good night, so I’m sure I will now. Claude, Robin, and Corring head back while I stick around and clean up the remnants of the RC Colas and Country Time Lemonades. Suddenly I hear something shuffling in the bushes so I got to investigate. I clear away the shurberry when something eeps, “Eep!”! Looking I recognize it as Bernadetta from the Black Donkeys house. I ask what she’s doing at such a untimely hour. “I ran out of the house because Edelgard and Ben Shapiro got into a fight over fascism so I came to join the Golden Deer instead” pretty scary stuff. I ask for her name so she tells me “I-I’m Bernedetta, but you can just call me Bernie.”. With that the night comes to an end. 

The next day I head to class and take my usual seat with Claude and Robin. Bernadetta sits at the desk next to us. Byleth (Big B) and Corrin stroll into class 14 minutes late and take their places at the podium. “Yo teach,”, says Claude. “1 more minute and we would have been legally allowed to leave.” “Yo, nice one B” corringed. “Well, I’m not so sure” contemplated Byleth, “you see, there are two sides to every joke, you have those who enjoy a given joke, and those who don’t, but I personally think that we should step back and examine the joke objectively.”. Bernedetta nudges me and asks under her breath if he’s always like this. I shrug and face the camera saying it be like that. Sometimes. 

“Anyway class tomorrow is a pretty big day, since it’s the annual Debate of the Eagle and the Lion” Big B announces to class which are now murmuring between themselves. “This debate will pit the class leaders and representatives against each other in a 3-way 2v2v2 debate. Our class will of course be represented by Claude and Corrin, the Black Donkeys by Edelgard and Ben Shapiro, and the Blue Elephants by Dimitri and Joseph”. I ask Claude who Joeseph is and after correcting me to Joseph, says that he’s a supporter of Dimitri’s Monarchistic views, so they’ll be pretty tough since they actually agree unlike Edelgard and Benny. “Well teach” Claude asks “hope you’ll support us during the debate.”. “Well, as a _centrist_ I normally wouldn't pick between two sides, but since this is a threesome, I’m free to do as I damn well please” Bylethed. What a guy. 

Anyway class ends so as usual I walk back with Claude and Robin, when we hear someone running up behind us. Looking back, we see it’s Bernadetta. She asks through grasping breaths if she can join us so we say sure. We go to the dining hall and begin whoofing down some Peach Sorbet, just having a grand old time when we hear a loud slam next to us, probably because Ben Shapiro just sat down. “So” Bens “I hear you’re going to be in the Debate of the Eagle and the Lion tomorrow”. “Yeah man” says Claude “good luck” but Ben cuts him off “I don’t need luck, because I have Logic on my side, and all you have is your piddly emotions. Grow up kid-” but Edelgard cuts him off, knocking him out with her axe. “Sorry about him, good luck Claude, and may the best house win” she says, before dragging Ben away. Seems like tomorrow is going to be pretty intense.


	5. Debate of the Eagle and Lion

Today is the debate of the Eagle and Lion so we head out to the debate hall. 

Now it’s time for the debate so I wish Claude good luck in the debate and he gives me a wink in return. He and Corring take their places at their desks and get ready to debate. At a desk across from them at an angle (the hall is set up like a triangle since there’s three political houses) Edelgard and Ben Shapiro take their seats but they don’t look thrilled about it. But the representatives for the Blue Elephants ain’t here yet. “Ay yo, wa’s the hold up G?” Corrin yells to no one in particular. “It would seem Dimitri is still on his way” Edelard starts when Ben’s cutting in with “Hmph, if he’s running late, why doesn’t he just not be late?”? Hmm, that’s certianty an interesting perspective. Suddenly at that end of the hall the doors bust open practically flying off their hinges as Dedue (Dimitri’s token retainer) yells “Make way for the King!”!! Looking over we see that Dedue is carrying Dimitri and a couple of students rush to his table and place cushions on the floor. Dedue sets him down and leaves as Dimitri looks over us and announces “Hmph, good day, peasants.” 

Taking aback I ask what the cushions are for. Dimitri scoffs and says “Hmph, do you really think I’d sully my boots my resting them on the floor that you peasants walk on?”? What a b*tch. “B*tch” yells Corring. Dimitri just scoffs. “Anyway” says the debate coordinator coming into the center of the room “time to get this debate rolling.”. Edelgard sits calmly on her throne while Ben fidgets around. Dimitri just scoffs while his adjutant Joeseph takes a seat next to him. Claude leans back, light glinting off of his exposed forearms, and Corrin cracks open a 40 (of RC cola). Meanwhile, Dimitri just scoffs while Joeseph takes his seat. Now we’re ready to begin the debate. 

“Okay so the debate topic today is about global warming” says the instructor; damn a topic that hits close to home. Edelgard opens by suggesting we begin to look at giving governments more power so they can enact policies that would help, but before Claude or Dimitri can retort, Ben fuming says “Wow, typical of you. Blame the people for all the world’s promblems.”. “I wasn’t-” but Ben cuts her off to say “Maybe instead of blaming all the people you lord over, maybe you should look at the real cause, the sun.” 

Edelgard: The sun?  
Ben: That’s right, the sun. The sun is solely responsible for all climate change in history, science shows that the sun, like all stars, expands over time, so all global warming is is a result of that.  
Edelgard: But don’t stars actually cool down as they expand?  
Ben: Yes, but that’s not relevant because the expansion make the sun get closer to the world, warming it up.  
Garth: God these guys are both really stupid.  
Byleth: Yeah man, you get it. You just gotta take a step back and see how ass a nine both sides of the argument are.  
Damn, didn’t know Byleth was an ass man. 

Now the debate’s heating up a bit, but Dimitri’s had enough. He makes a gesture and Joeseph raises his voice over the crowd. “Look, even if we manage to come to a solution, one that’s completely right, there’s still like a 30% chance we’ll be wrong.”. Lots of interesting perspectives today. At this point, Claude speaks up “Maybe instead of bickering like this, it’d be better if we try to work tog-” but the bell cuts him off. Debate time is over. 

After class I meet up with Claude. “Man that debate was a real mess, eh?” I ask him. “Yeah man, I just don’t see how those two can ever get anywhere as much as they fight” Claude replies looking a little downcast. Man, it’s times like these that make me think maybe Byleth is right. Maybe both sides are to blame and neutrality is the best option. After all, I really like my adoptive parents, but when we have political talks, I just can’t seem to agree with a lot of their points. They often make sense, but they’re so different from things I was taught at the orphanage. It’s just not a huge deal since they’re really nice to me and we get along well other than that, but I just wish we could all get along, you know?


	6. Feast of the Eagle and Lion

After the debate, the three political houses meet in the dining hall to celebrate the peace they’ve reached via their political intercourse. The leaders have to sit together so unfortunately I won’t be able to bask in Claude’s radiance. Claude winks at me and says he’ll see me soon as he goes to his place. Taking my seat, I sit next to Robin and Bernedetta. Across from us the imposing figure of Dedue appears and sets Dimitri on the padded bench across from us. Careful to not let his feet touch the ground. Dimitri shuffles in his seat a bit looking mildly uncomfortable. 

“I apologize for my lack of decorum back there, but I have to maintain my air of superiority so that the commoners have someone to look up to, does this make sense?”? It doesn’t really, and Bernedetta and Robin seem uncomforted as well. “You have to understand where I’m coming from. As the future king of Faerghus, I’m a strong supporter of Monarchy, as it is the best way to ensure that the masses stay safe.”. Sitting down next to him is Joeseph, his partner. “You know, I, Joeseph Biden, support Dimitri, as I once did a president who ruled like a king fair and just.”. I’m not too sure about that one either. My parents are strong supporters of that man, but I don’t quite agree with a lot of the changes he made to my country’s health system. 

“In this world, the strong rise, and the weak fall naturally, unless they have proper guidance in the form of strong and forceful leadership.” It’s here that Bernadetta pipes up “But wouldn't the weak benefit more from a government that supported their endeavors and helped remove social barriers, rather than forcing them to slave away under harsh conditions?”. This gave Dimitri pause and me as well. I began to consider the merit of both of these sides, when suddenly-

“It’s at times like these that you have to step back and look at both sides of the argument, and then you’ll realize how flawed both approaches are” Byleths coming to the table. “Well then, enlightened one” Dimitri scoffs, “what do you propose?”? “Well, I don’t think the solution is important so much as reaching a solid compromise that both sides can benefit from” he says, and I kinda agree but am not to sure. “Well, let’s use an example,” Biden suggests, “look at gun control, with gun control you have 2 main sides, those who want an assault weapons ban, and mass shooters.”. “Well, in this case, I think the best route is to ban assault rifles, but allow shotguns, that way the people who want to feel safe are pacified, but the gun toters still get their weapons of mass destruction to tote around.”. “I agree completely” says Joeseph Biden. This whole intercourse is making me think (but not about intercourse). 

This is where I stand on some issues. I was raised in an awful orphanage where I was abused daily in various way. Most of the orphanage staff were extremely conservative people, and though I despised them, I still absorbed a lot of those views, which can be seen prominently in Saga of Trials & Eternal Fire: Tales x FE, though I’m not terribly proud of them. Conversely, the other influences in my life, such as my foster parents, for whom I have immense respect, and Val, tend to lean toward the liberal side in most issues. So in order to balance these two views, I’ve tried to take a moderate approach to most political issues, and try to see the value in both sides. Anyway, I’ve gotten a bit off-topic, and this should be the last time it happens for a good while, so I hope you’ll stay tuned for the next entry in Fire Emblem: Three Political Houses!


	7. Hitting the Books

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay between chapters. I've been out on a trip with a couple friends, but I'm back now, so I can continue this thrilling saga.

“Anyways class, after stepping back and examining it, I’ve come to a conclusion that textbooks are ridiculously overpriced, so instead of buying them from the school merchants, we’re taking a trip to the library” Byleth says to us a few days later in class. “So, we’re hitting the books now, eh Teach?”? says Claude, winking at me. God I wish he’d hit me. With his smooth, yet rugged hands. But gently and lovingly, not like the orphanage staff who’d beat me until I was bruised, no matter how much I cried or begged them to stop. “That’s right, so off we go class!” Byleths as we’re boutta head out.

As we enter the library, we’re greeted by an somewhat elderly man named Tomas who goes “Welcome to the library Golden Deer! I’m Tomas”! “Greetings Tomas, we’re looking for the political textbooks that were assigned. Since we nonpartisans don’t receive donations from supporters, we couldn't afford the offical textbooks.” he explains to him. “Hmm…” “well, normally I’d have to report something like this, but as a fellow centrist, I might be able to bend the rules a bit. Let me see if I’ve got anything for you. Wait right here.” Tomased. And with that he pulls a level revealing a secret staircase he goes down into a strangely lit room, from which loud music can be heard. 

“Hey Garth” Robin says to me, “What do you think is up with that?”? I’m not to sure, so I tell her “I’m not too sure.” But before we can think about it any longer, Tomas hobbles back up, placing a stack of books on the counter. With that our business is concluded, so we get our books and head back to class. But before we do, Robin stops me and Claude to tell us something’s up. “Hey guys, something’s up with that passage, I think we should come back to check it out later.” Damn she’s witty. Claude and I agree, so after class today we’ll go check it out. Bernie was there and she’ll come too. 

Heading back to class we crack open our freshly ‘bought’ textbooks and begin reviewing a section on gambling. While the Leicester Alliance (Claude’s Country) openly allows gambing in most territories, both the Holy Kingdom of Fargus and the Adrestian Empire strictly outlaw it. “Now class, let’s hear what some of hou think on this topic” Byleth says to us. “Well”, Robin says, “I think people should be free to spend their money how they please, as long as they aren’t actively hurting anyone else”. I disagree, so I chime in with “well there’s an issue with predatory gambling venues. For instance, I was out shooting craps the other day, and lost $50”. 

“Wow guys” says Byleth, “these are some really good talking points. But I think before we continue, we should take a step back and examine both sides here. Sure, the gambling dens are practically highway robbers, but the people who frequent them are no better. The way I see it, if you’re dumb enough to throw away your money, you deserve to lose it”. “But Teach” Claude says “that argument doesn't consider that the lost money goes to the corrupt individuals who run the venues, furthering the vicious cycle.” Byleth ponders this thought for a brief moment before countering “well, when you step back and look at both sides here, you’ll see that both sides are corrupt, since the owners create the cycle, but the gamblers themselves are the reason it exists, so they’re both at fault”. And with that interesting take, class for today comes to an end. And with that interesting take, class for the day comes to a end. 

Afterwards, I meet up with Claude, Robin, and Bernie, and we get ready to head to the library to investigate Tomas and the secret passage. We’re all a bit nervous but Claude winks and says we’ll be alright, so we all start to feel pretty good about it.


	8. Those who Gamble in the Dark

Now that night has fallen, the four of us sneak away to investigate the library. Too bad Coring isn’t here, he could help increase our group’s camo index. We get to the library and look around, but Tomas is nowhere to be found. “Why don’t we try that lever from before?” suugests Robin. She’s so smart. She and Claude could rule the world with their sharp tactical minds. Not to mention their looks. We pull the lever and a bookshelf moves, books flying off the shelf almost hitting my head, causing me to recoil in fear. Robin puts her arm around me and tells me I’ll be alright, and I feel comforted by her embrace. 

Behind the bookshelve was a metal door, through it we can her loud dubstep blaring away. I raise a eyebrow, since Garth Brooks and Jimi Hendrix are more my speed. I also enjoy a good nightcore mix every now and again, but dubstep just isn’t real music. As we open the door, were bareaged by a blast of bass, which causes Claude’s hairs to flow around, giving him a nigh-angelic presence. Pressing forward, we descend the labrinthine stair case, which opens into a large black room, lit by blue neon lights. Looking around the room, we see a varity of different tables, where people in strange masks and black robes sat. It was here that we realized this was a gambling den. There were all kinds of games: roulette, black jack, ponker, even a craps table. 

“I can’t believe something like this exists at the school” says Claude. “Yeah” I replied “we gotta shut this down! We can’t let them take any more money from the students!”! “Well now, I’m not too sure about that” Tomasing down the staircase behind us.   
Tomas! “Tomas! What is this place?” I asked him. “Oh this? Just think of it as a… recreation room, where students can come to… unwind, and… maybe make a little… cash…”. The four of us are furious now. “This isn’t right!” Bernie chimes in “this isn’t simple recreation, this is stealing money from students!”! “Yeah, this is a ripoff!”

“Hohohoh” Tomased deeply “this is no ripoff, the students come here… willingly, of their own… violation.”. Dang, he’s got a point, but it’s here that we realized it. “You, you aren’t Tomas! Tomas was a true centrist, so he would never stand behind a gambling ring like this!” Suddenly the atmosphere changed. 

“You fools, I’m not Tomas!” Tomases, revealing his true form as a pale-white-skinned creepy man “My true name is Solon, savior of the Libertarians!” We all gasp taken a back (but not a step back it’s a metaphor). “What’s the matter?”? he asks, “So shocked you can’t even speak!?”. We actually are. There was no way we could have seen this coming. “Now prepare to be defeated!” He tells us, striding over to the craps table, taking a seat. “Come then, and prepare to be defeated!” 

None of use really want to participate, but we don't really have a choice, so I reluctantly start heading over to the table. “Wait, Garth!” Claude yells, but I turn to him and say, “Don’t worry, Claude, I have to do this.” With this, the stage is set next time, for the final part of the exciting gambling arc, look forward to it, on Fire Emblem: Three Political Houses!


	9. Craps

The four of us gather round the craps table, along with Solon. We each have about $100 on us, so we all get $50 of chips. Solon checks and gets $50 as well, so we all have our chips and are ready to play. “The rules are simple” says Solon “standard craps rules, with the exception that the I will act as the house when I’m rolling, and will collect losses from you all, with the auxillary rule that Garth will collect my losses; we’ll play until all 5 people have rolled. I’ll start, and we’ll go around the table, so the order will be myself, Claude, Robin, Garth, and Bernedetta. Any questions?” We don’t have any questions, so we tell Solon “No questions.” Good, then let’s begin!

Solon flips the puck to OFF, and we all place $5 on the pass line. Solon rolls the dice and it lands on “8”, so the puck is turned ON and moved to 8. Damn that was close, but we’re good for now. “Any side bets?” Solon asks us? Claude places $10 on Come and $5 on 9. Everyone else stays. Solon rolls and the dice land on “9”. Now Claude has $50 in hand and $10 on 9. The rest of us are feeling a bit more confident now, so we each put $5 on 9 as well. Sneering Solon rolls again and the dice land on “7”. Damn, now we’re all out $10 except Claude, who’s still at $50. Heh, I’ll be taking those. Since Solon is a player, but Tomas is the House, he takes all our losses, so he now sits at $80. Now it’s Claude’s turn to roll. 

With such a disadvantage, we’re all feeling a bit down, but Claude says “Cheer up guys, I know we can win this!” winking at us! And with that we’re re-energized to keep playing. Once again, each of us place $5 on Pass, but Solon bets $10 on Any Craps, a risky bet, but one with a good payout. Claude eyes Solon nervously, flips the puck back to OFF and rolls the die. “Damn” I say, Snake Eyes. Solon pockets 7 to 1 odds, bringing his total to $130. The rest of us keep our bets on Pass, and Solon doesn’t place a bet this turn. Claude rolls again. “10” we all breath a sigh of relief. The puck is flipped to ON and moved to 10. “Any bets?” Claude asks? I drop $10 on field, Robin puts $5 on 10, Bernedetta places $5 on Craps, and Solon holds. Claude rolls. “12” Boxcar. With that, Bernedetta and I sigh in relief, I take $30, and she gets $35, and Robin loses her bets, giving $10 to Solon. With that, the current standings are:  
Solon: $140  
Claude: $80  
Bernedetta: $65  
Garth: $55  
Robin: $30

Now it’s Robin’s turn to roll, but she seems real nervous, so I pat her back with one hand and tell her it’ll be alright. That when this is over, we’ll use our winnings to get a nice, tall pitcher of Country Time Lemonade, and she smiles at me. The puck is flipped back to OFF, and we make our bets. Claude gives me a wink, so I feel confident too, and I smile at Robin, so we’re all triple confident now. Claude place $10 on Pass, Bernie places $5, and I place $15, feeling dodgy. We look at Solon, who sneers at us and places $25 on Don’t Pass. What a dick. Robin rolls and we all wait with bated breathe. Big Red, a “7”. We all cheer while Solon fumes, having taken his first loss. I pocket his $25, along with the $30 from my pass bet, while Claude gets $20, and Bernie $10, bringing our totals to:  
Solon: $115  
Garth: $95  
Claude: $90  
Bernedetta: $70  
Robin: $30

Now it’s my turn to roll. The last game was a natural, so no need to flip the puck, it’s already on OFF. I wink at everyone, and like the ballers we are, we gleam with an aura of confidence (especially Claude). Everyone expect Solon places $10 on Pass, and Solon refrains from making a bet. I roll, and get an “8” so I slide the puck to 8, after flipping it to on. Really feeling the confidence, everyone puts $45 on 8 except Robin, who places $15. Solon sneering bets $50 on 7, a 4 to 1 payout space. Smirking, I roll, and await the outcome with bated breathe. Then, the worst happens. We all dread looking at the result. “7”. Solon cackles maniaclly, pocketing $200 from his bet, plus $55 each from Claude and Bernie, and $25 from Robin. Unfortunately, this puts the totals at:  
Solon: $450  
Garth: $95  
Claude: $35  
Bernedetta: $15  
Robin: $5

Realizing that everyone but me is barely in the Black, we huddle for a brief strategy meeting. “Garth” Claude says. “We’re boned here”. (Kinda wish I was if it was Claude tbh). “Yeah, what do you recommend? I ask him and Robin, our tactical guinesses. They don’t have any ideas, but then Bernie pops up with “Garth, I want you to take the rest of my chips,” as she gives me hers. Claude and Robin look at this and smile, deciding to follow suit. “You’ve got this Garth!”! They all say in unison, and I feel their trust flowing through me. This time I won’t screw it up. I won’t lose when my friends need me most. It won’t be like when I was in that gas station casino, throwing away my money when a friend needed me. With an aura of confidence, I stride to the table, slamming down my additional chips from my friends. This brings the total to:  
Solon: $450  
Garth: $150  
Claude: OUT  
Bernedetta: OUT  
Robin: OUT

Solon cackles maniacally, and wondering why, I remember that it’s Bernie’s turn to roll, and she’s so nervous she can barely move. Realizing that I need to make our money back, and this is the last round, I place $50 on Pass, and Solon calls my bet on Don’t. Bernie looks like she’s about to cry, actually, I think she is a little. Robin walks over to her and hugs her tightly, letting her know that she can get through this, and that even if she fails, we’ll all still be there for her. Wiping her eyes, she rolls the dice. One lands on 6, but realizing she flubbed, as one of the dice goes careening off the table, shattering Solon’s monocle. “Eep!”! She eeps! Solon is shaking with fury, as Claude picks up the dies and tosses them back to Bernie with a wink, boosting all of our morale. Redoubling her efforts, she gets ready to roll again. And with a quick shake of her hand, the dies leave her hand… 

“10” We all cheer while Solon slams his fist down, while I pocket his $50. “You incests! This isn’t over yet!”! And he’s right. We slide the puck to 10, and flip it to ON. Neither of us bet and Bernie rolls again. “4”. Neither of us bet and Bernie rolls again. “5”. Neither of us bet and Bernie rolls again. “6”. “ARGH!” Solon yells and places $100 each on Craps, Any Seven, Come, and 8. “HMPH! Let’s see you deal with this! I run this ring, so even if I lose everything, it’s fine as long as you don’t win!” I keep a cool head and look over at Bernie, who smiles even though she’s pale as a sheet. Smirking I look at Tomas and tell him “Solon! There’s one thing you’ll never beat, and that’s the power of our bonds!” as I slam the remaining $100 of my chips on double 5’s, a 7 to 1 bet. Everyone gasps in shock, except Claude, who seems proud of my ballsy moves. “Yo-you can’t be serious!” Solon yells, but in respones I just grin and say “I trust Bernadetta, I know she can do this! Besides, I like doing things the Hardway (as I wink at the camera)”. 

Now that the dust has cleared, we see we’ve garnered quite a crowd. Everyone quiets down and Bernie rolls the die. Time seems to come to a crawl as they bounce around the table. One of them lands. “5”. Everyone is covered in sweat as we await the next die to land. It continues to bounce around the table. It finally lands. For moments, the room is silent. While everyone else is too afraid to move, Solon and I peer over at the second die. “5”. The silence persists as everyone waits to hear the results. Solon, biting his lips mutters, “garth wins”. I crack a smile as everyone begins cheering in a raucous manner. Robin and Bernie applaud my success as Claude pulls me in for a bear hug. “Garth, man! Do you know how much you just won!?” I quickly do the math in my head. I get $100 for winning the pass bet, $700 from the double-5 roll, and $450 from Solon. “That’s $1250, we’re rich!!!!!”! And Claude, Robin, Bernedetta, and myself all cheer, excited to spend our winnnings on all the Country Time Lemonade and RC Cola we can drink. We gotta invite Corrin and Byleth to our party. 

As the excitement dies down, we look at Tomas, who has transformed back into Tomas. “Now,” I ask him. “Will you shut down this place?”? He seems quite reluctant, but says “Normally, I’d refuse such a request, but I admire your integrity to remain true to your anti-gambling stance, even after you’ve benefited from it, so I’ll close this place down, and Those who Gamble in the Dark will wait in the shadows, preparing our next moves.”. Satisfied with this, we leave, excitedly discussing plans for our party. Little do we know, that there are more dark forces casting a shadow over the Three Political Houses.


	10. A Moment of Peace

Now that we’ve dealt with those who gambled in the dark, we get ready to have our bonfire. But first, we need to get the materials we need for it. First we need drinks. We get 3 cans of Country Time Lemonade mix, for $20, and 3 six-packs (Not Claude’s) of glass bottles of RC Cola for $45. With this we have $1185 left. We buy a 6 pack (still not Claude's) of 6 pound logs for $27 and a bottle of lighter fluid for $3, as well as a 20 pound bag of charcoal for $15. This leaves us with $1140. We spend $55 on 2 jars of Bay View Pickled Meats Combo and $35 on fancy invites for Corring and Byleth, and $50 on reserving an area to use in the forest to have the party. Now we’re left with a crisp, clean $1000, which I’m sure we’ll use later. 

A day later and a night later it’s bonfire time. We all gather around the bonfire, (me, Robin, Claude, Bernie, Corrin, and Byleth). Things are going pretty good, until Claude, feeling hot removes his shirt, revealing a sixpack (Claude’s this time), so now they’re going really good, not just pretty good. “Yo dis party be off the chain my homies” Corrings and we all share a laugh. What a guy. Byleth says “I heard about how you defeated Those Who Gamble in the Dark, and I have to say I’m proud.” “I’m surprised” I tell him, “I figured as a centrist, you wouldn’t want to take a side on the issue”. “Well” he says, taking a step back from the bonfire, since it’s pretty hot here, “normally I wouldn’t, but gambling is such a great evil, that even I have to take a stance.”. What a guy. 

“Just don’t forget” says Robin, “even though gambling is inherently wrong, if it weren’t for it, we wouldn’t be having this lovely bonfire.” She’s so right. “That’s right” Claudes in “so lets have a toast” he says, raising his glass of Country Time Lemonade “to glory from hardship, and to the spoils of vanquishing evil” he adds raising in his other rugged hand a bottle of RC Cola. We all toast and down our tasty beverages. Bernie says “Thanks everyone, for supporting me during craps. I don’t think I could have pulled it off without you’ll backing me up”. No problem, that’s what we’re here for. “No problem,” Claude says with a wink, “that’s what friends are for." And we all share a laugh, enjoying our wide variety of pickled meats. We’re just having a great time, but little do we know that those who gambled in the dark and other dark forces will soon be casting a shadow over the Three Political Houses.

A bit longer and the bonfire is dying down, so Byleth heads back to prepare tomorrow's lesson, and Coring heads back too. Now just me, Claude, Robin, and Bernie are left. The conversation’s died down, so Claude stands up, firelight reflecting off of his perfect pectorals. “Well,I think it’s about time to wrap this up” he announces to us, so everyone else starts heading back to their room. I start to do the same when Claude grabs my shoulder. I turn around to see him with an unusually serious face. “Garth” he says to me “dark forces are lurking in the shadows here, and they’ll be making a move eventually. Just be ready, and know that no matter what troubles come, I’ll always be on your side.” I try to reply, but between the bonfire, Claude’s chest, and his supportive words, I’m too worked up, so all I can do is nod. He pats my shoulder and gives me a wink, and so we head back to our rooms. As I’m about to fall asleep, I suddenly remember that tomorrow is a seminar day, where various members of the school hold open seminars on various topics. Can’t wait.


	11. Reflection

I open my eyes and immediately notice I’m splished with water. Rain specifically because it’s coming down. I’ve just run into the forest outside the orphanage after a particularly intense beating. I don’t know how long I spent running, but I eventually stumbled upon a campsite someone must have left, and sheltered myself inside a tent. I don’t know how long I spent inside the tent when suddenly I heard footsteps outside the tent, so I held my breath, not wanting to be heard. My fears were relieved when I heard a young girl’s voice that I recognized as one of the kids from the orphanage who was a bit younger than me. 

“Is someone there?” she asks in my direction. I peer out of the tent, and see she’s alone, so I slowly exit and make my presence known. We sit in silence for a few moments when I notice a bruise on her face, and assume that she’s run away just like me. I ask her about this to confirm it, and she tells me that she does it often, and that she’s stumbled on this site a couple times and visits it when it’s raining. She gestures to a shadowed area next to the tent where I see a cooler with the word “Stewarts” drawn on with marker. The girl, who I’d later know as Val says “A couple people use this spot every once in a while. They used to be part of something called The Rainbow Family.” Inside the cooler were various drinks in glass bottles, and without thinking, I grabbed one labeled “RC Cola”. From the first sip I was in love. It was better than anything I’d ever had before. The water in the orphanage had a funny taste and smelled like the paint in our rooms. It took us a while, but we managed to light the bonfire at the campsite, as it was covered from the rain, and we sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying its warmth. 

Suddenly, we heard loud footsteps running toward us, and without thinking, I shoved Val into the tent. “Well well, if it ain’t Gary” says a loud drawling voice. I recognize the large man as the Chief Disciplinary Officer of the orphanage. I quickly grab a large stick from the fire and point it at him. For a brief moment, he looks afraid but then laughs heartily. I try to swing it at him, but I only weighed about 50 pounds, so he easily grabbed the stick from my hands, causing me to trip. He rubbed the flaming end of the stick into the dirt, and spit his dip onto it, putting it out. “Now Gary” he boomed at me “I know yer scrawny ass didn’t make this here fire, who helped you?” Lifting my head off the ground I tell him to eat shit, so he bashed me over the head with the branch. “Fine, if y’all don’t want to cooperate, you can sleep out here tonight, shithead. And you’ll go another week without lunch.”. And with that, he stormed away. The rain started getting heavier, and between the cold and the blood from my wound blurring my vision, I lost consciousness.

Floating in the darkness, I feel someone shaking me. “Garth!” “Garth, wake up!”! I awaken with a shock to see Robin in my room, looking visibly concerned. I look around and realize I’m safe in my room at the Officers Academy. I must have had another nightmare. I realize that my face is covered in sweat and tears. Robin notices my plight and hugs me tightly. I hug her back and slowly start to relax, knowing that I’m safe and that my time at the orphanage is behind me. “Come on”, she says to me “today’s seminar day, so we can relax and take it easy while we listen to some people speak. I smile and say “that sounds great”. We grab a couple bottles of RC Cola from my fridge and head out.


	12. Seminars

We head to the bulletin board, and look at all the seminars being offered. Everyone’s seminar specializes in a certain skill, for instance, Claude’s is on Authority, while Joespeh Biden’s is on archery. Weird, though he was partial to shotguns. Interestingly, it seems that Edelgard’s focuses on being against Faith, rather than promoting something. After persuing a bit more, we settle on one. Ben Shapiro’s, which focuses on reason. Makes sense, so we head over to the courtyard where he’s going to give the seminar.

Arriving at the courtyard, we see Coring sitting on an open bench, so we sit next to him, sliding an extra RC Cola his way. “Ay yo, tha’s whazzap, G-money!” he says to us, and we do a fist bump (single this time). “Well” Bens “if the peanut gallery is done yammering, I’d like to get started.” What a tool. “So today, we, by which I mean I, am going to be talking about capitalism.” Oh boy. “Capitalism is a wonderful system that has benefited every citizen who has been influenced by it.” I’m not so sure, but Robin interjects before I can, saying “But aren’t the poor usually hurt by Capitalism, since they ended up working more than the upper class, and pay large amounts of tax?”? She’s got a point. “Well” says Ben “if poor people don’t like being poor, they should just get another job, or get a job to begin with, since most poor people are just living off of the government’s hard earned dinero, which is mexican for dollars.” Toolbag. “But Lil’ Ben,” says Coring, “what about people who can’t find work due to systematic oppression and economic downturn?”

Now furious, Bent “hmph, appealing to emotion because you can’t think for yourself, typical”. Not dealing with his crap anymore, I stand up and yell, “you go on about facts and logic, but you’ve yet to use either in this seminar!”. Now he’s fuming, so we add on the pressure, Robin and Coring both standing too. “If you can’t debate by your own standards, how do you go about expecting other people to!” Robins, and Corings too “yeah, shiz wack yo!” Now Ben is looking real bent out of shape, time to deal the final blow. 

We all line up side by side, ready to destroy this guy. We stand shoulder to shoulder, and Corin goes “Yo Garth!”! We all face the same direction, hand raised up. Robin adds, “Who’s mad?”. We all point our fingers at Ben in unison, and announce in unison, “Hoes mad!”! The force of our combined attack causes a burst of wind to blow at Ben, papers flying everywhere as he is blown onto the ground. Reveling in our victory, we arrange ourselves in a triangle formation, and do a triple threeway fist bump. 

We notice that for overcoming the seminar, our Reason has increased, and so I gained the ability to cast Fire. Could be useful if I ever get in a fight, or need to light up a bonfire. Feeling hungry from our hard fought debate, we down the rest of our RC colas, and head to the dining hall for a late breakfast.


	13. Late Breakfast

We get to the dining hall and get our orders. Coring says “Ay yo I gotta dip, G” so he bounces. Claude comes over and takes his place. We each get one order, so we decide to get 3 different things and split them threeway. Claude orders Cheese au Gratin, since it matches his outfit, Robin orders a Roast Pheasant with Berry Sauce, and I get a dish of Sagert and Cream. We go to the table and sit down, hoping that we won’t be interrupted for once. We start to dig in, and the flavors are pure ecstasy in our mouths. This was very different from how it was at the orphanage. 

At the orphanage, I rarely got to eat. I usually was forbidden from eating lunch for some reason or other, and they didn’t serve us dinner, so I lived off of a meager breakfast of 1 strip of pre-cooked bacon and a Hidden Valley Honey Oats granola bar that I could barely chew. Even when I got lunch, it was usually something near inedible, like pizza that tasted like cold butter, and pasta that had sauce that somehow removed flavor from the dish. We never drank anything other than water and apple juice that tasted like water, and both had heavy metallic tastes. Because of this, I never really grew properly, and as a result am still severely underweight. Sometimes Val and I would sneak into the kitchen late and steal Country Time Lemonade mix and extra granola bars to keep ourselves fed. Some of the other kids didn’t make it…

Suddenly I’m snapped out of my daydream by the sound of silverware clattering as I’ve dropped mine on the ground. Everyone looks at me concerned, but I laugh it off and pick up the dropped items, hoping that they didn’t notice the blankness in my eyes when I was zoned out. “Sorry guys, I was just daydreaming” I say to them, hoping to ease their fears. They don’t need to worry about me, I’ve put those days behind me. For sure. Suddenly, the doors swing open, and we hear someone yell, “Everyone! Stand up and step back from the tables!” we look and see that Byleth has entered, looking visibly flustered. The doors slam shut, and guards line up to the doors to guard them. 

“Edelgard, Dimitri, Joeseph, and Ben have gone missing, only the Golden Deer are in this room right now, so we need to keep this quiet from both of the other houses so they don’t panic” Byleths to all of us. Everyone’s murmuring and Byleth comes over to us and leads us to a hidden staircase in the hall, from which strange music can be heard. We all steal ourselves and get ready for a dangerous situation. Claude grab Robin and I's shoulders and massages them gently, telling us we'll be alright, with a wink.


	14. Black Hands

Claude, Robin, Byleth, and I all look at each other, and nod as we descend the staircase. Suddenly, it opens into a vast space that looks pretty familiar. Blue and Red Neon lights adorn the room, and dubstep blares from unknown origins. “Hohoho! Greetings once again” Solons toward us “and welcome once again to the domain of Those Who Gamble in the Dark!” We gasped astonished at this schlocking development. 

“What are you dastards up to this time?” I ask, ready to throedown, like the good old days. “Huhuhuhuh, why don’t you see for yourself” giggles Solon, gesturing to a table. We look and see Dimitri, Joespeh, and Ben Shapiro sitting at a Blackjack table. At first I’m prepared to chastise them for their folly, but Solon gives me a shove, and I’m thrust in to a chair. That’s when I notice. All of them are locked into the chair via leg restraints. I try to get up to help them, when I hear a metallic “click” and notice that my legs too are restrained. 

“Hohoho… now…” Solon says in his familiar accent “you all must… play a game…”. “What kind of sick things are you gonna do to them!” Claude's violently. (I wish I could be tied up in his bedroom, in a safe manner, not like this or at the orphanage). “Blackjack” says Solon. We all gasp. “Don’t worry, this is an easy one. You’ll play 3 hands of blackjack with our dealers. If you win a single one, you’re free to go”. “And what if we should lose?” Dimitri inquires. “Hohohohohoh… if that should happen, then you must come down here once a week to gamble with us. A truly fearsome fate, no?” It sure is. 

Resigned to our fates, we sit down as the dealers pass our cards. (For the record, it’s 4 separate games of blackjack, each of us versus a dealer.) We all look at our cards, and I see that mine is a 9, a dicey start to say the least. Bens smirking but Dimitri and Joeseph don’t look so hot, unlike Claude. We get our second cards, and before I can even look at mine, Ben slams his cards on the table and yells “BlackJack!” and I look and see he’s got an ace of spades and a 10 of spades. His restraints click open, and he stands up, freed from his bondage. I now get to look at my card. And see it’s a 7 of hearts, putting my total at 16. 

I tell the dealer to hit me (wishing he was Claude) and he slides me a nother card. As I look at it, I hear Dimitri and Joeseph sigh in frustration, I guess they busted. I look at my card and see it’s a 3. I tell the dealer I stay, so we flip our cards. I have a 19, and he has a 20. Damn that sucks. He deals again, with my cards being an Ace and a 8. I hit, and am dealt a 10, bringing my total to 19 once again. Feeling daring, I hit, and am dealt a 2. Feeling supreme, I declare Blackjack, but the dealer has blackjack too, so it’s his game. What a load of crock. “What a load of crock!” Claude declares behind me. “Don’t worry,” says Robin “I know you can do this Garth!” Feeling confident, I tell the dealer to deal again. I look at my cards, 2 tens. I stay amd the dealer takes another card, before swearing profusely and throwing his cards on the table. 2 Sixes and a Ten. Sucks to suck. I hear a click and my restraints come undone. Claude winking says, “I knew you could do it!” And he and Robin and I have Hi-fives all around. Now, how to get Dimitri and Joe free.


	15. Empirical Triad

The four of us, Myself, Robin, Claude, and Ben, stand behind Joeseph and Dimitri, who seem to be in a bit of a pickle, as they’re on their last hand. We’re ready to cheer them on, when suddenly a loud crashing sound reverberates throughout the hall. Rocks begin falling from the ceiling and Robin and Claude are knocked unconscious, so Ben and I move them under a table to protect them from debris, while Byleth nimbly avoids the falling debris. We hear loud metallic footsteps, and we turn to see a figure clad from head to toe in heavy forest green and black armor. 

“Attention, to Those Who Gamble in the Dark, I am the Federalist Emperor. And starting now, this hall is now my base of operations.” They strides over to Dimitri and Joeseph, shattering their restraints, and holding a massive sword to their necks. “The Blue Elephants have already pledged allegiance to my cause, and their leaders are now my hostages. Vacate now if you don’t wish to meet a grisly end.” Those Who Gamble in the Dark are Those Who Grumble in the Dark now, not wishing to leave their hallowed halls. Since their gambling doesn’t provide them much in the way of combative techniques, Byleth, Ben, and I reluctantly prepare for a fight. 

Byleth readies his Sword of the Center and swings it towards the Federalist Emperor, causing it to extend dramatically and lash their armor. Ben follows up by muttering an incantation, causing a massive explosion centered on the emperor. “That one’s called Logic Bomb” Ben explains. Not wanting to be left out, I focus my energy, and cast a small ball of fire, which ultimately has little effect. Simlarly, Byleth and Bens don’t do much either, so we’re in a bit of a tight spot. The Federalist Emperor cackles maniacally, when suddenly a loud sound rumbles throughout the hall, knocking the Federalist Emperor off of their feet. 

We look over to the source of the sound, and see a similarly clad figure, decked in black armor, adorned with strobing neon lights, but they’re a bit short in statue. Solon cackling from behind them cackles “Behold the greatest creation of Those Who Gamble in the Dark, The Rave Emperor! Muahahahahha!” Even though their opposed to the Federalist Emperor, they don’t seem to be on our side. A bass blast come hurling at us, and Byleth narrowly avoids it by taking a step back. “Well gents” he says to me and Ben “now that there are two clear sides to this fight, my views require me to dip.” I’m disappointed, but even Ben respects the man’s commitment. 

Ben and I, once bitter foes, now stand back to back, demonstrating that at the end of the day, even people who disagree can overcome their disagreements to unite against opposition. Ben begins casting a bearage of facts and logic at the Federalist Emperor, so I face the Rave Emperor and begin charging Fire, when I’m struck with an idea. I pull out my longlance and huck it at the Rave Emperor, but before it hits, I cast a fireball, not at her, but at my lance, lighting it ablaze. Surpised, the Rave Emperor ducks down, but still gets nicked, causing some short hairs to fly around. Now without a weapon, she seeses her opportunity and rushing me, prepared to conk me on the head with her bass cannon, so I raise my arms in front of my face, and prepare for the worst. 

“Hyahhh!” I hear a woman’s voice and a loud clash of metal. I’m reminded of when the orphanage staff would beat their Tire Irons against the pipes in the discipline room to intimidate us. Dreading, I open my eyes, and see a fogure standing in front of me, block the Rave Emperor’s cannon with her axe. “About time you showed up, where were you?” questions Ben. “Hmph, wouldn’t you like to know” says the newly arrived Edelgard, before knocking the Rave Emperor back a bit with a swish of her axe. I duck away to tend to my wounds, while Ben and Edelgard continue to fight. Man, I wish I was strong like them. 

Suddenly feeling inspired, I sneak around behind the fight, and retrieve my trusty longlance, and attack the Federalist Emperor from behind, thowing them off their rhythm, Ben not wasting the moment, hurls a fallacy at them, knocking them over and taking them out of the fight. As we’re both occupied with our victory, we hear a bass drop, and the unconscious body of Edelgard flys at us, hitting Ben squarely in the chest, knocking both of them out. Spinning my longlance, I stand and face the Rave Emperor, now it’s just a 1-on-1, so I’m not too sure how I’ll get out of this one. 

I don’t have much time to think though, because her cannon morphs into a gatling gun, and with a metal screechy sound, thin sound waves assault me. Man, this crap has nothing on Garth Brooks. I manage to deflect some of the bursts with my Longlance, but several get through, putting holes in my longcoat, and scratches on my upper body. After a bit, I’m out of strength, and drop my lance. The Rave Emperor goes in for the kill, but as her blast is about to reach me, a wave of intense fire washes through the area, nocking it away. The Rave Emperor starts booking it my way, when instead of hitting me, she collides head first with a massive scythe. “You make me sick, all of you governmentals praying on the weak” Huh, that line sounds like someone I know, but their helmet is obscuring their voice, so I’m not too sure. “Who are you?” Booms the Rave Emperor? “I am the Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades!” announces the Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades, swinging her scythe, knocking off the Rave Emperor’s helmet, revealing her true form. Shocked I yell in surprise, “Y-you! It can’t be!”


	16. Feeling It

The Empress and I are kneeling down on the floor, while the unmasked Rave Emperor stands on the table in front. Of us. Slow clapping, she steps down the bench and onto the floor. “Not bad, Garth, unmasking me like this.” “W-why?” “Why would you side with Those Who Gamble in the Dark? Why did you do it, Bernie!?” Claude and Robin are recovering, and they look devastated by this turn of events. “I guess I read things all wrong” says Claude, looking crestfallen, “I can’t believe you’d betray us, Bernadetta. What made you do it?”? “I don’t need to explain myselfes to the likes of you” she says, snapping her fingers. A swath of Those Who Gamble in the Dark including Solon swarm around her and carry her off into the dark. 

While we were occupied, the Federalist Emperor slinked away as well. The Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades turns to us and announces, “leaders of the Golden Deer house, your nonadherence to party politics is admirable, but true enlightenment and progress can only be reached by forgoing all governmentals” before diss appearing in a burst of fire. Amidst the rubble, Claude, Robin, and I are too shocked by this turn of events to even speak. Dimitri and Joeseph, as well as Edelgard and Ben begin to recover, and come over to us. “...” Bens in silence, “for the first time, facts and logic weren’t enough…”... “Ben,” says Edelgard “you performed admirably, I couldn’t have expected any more out of a Black Donkey.” Dimitri doesn’t look to good though. With wide eyes he stares vacantly at the ground, until Joeseph Biden shakes him back to reality. “Ah, sorry,” he says, “I seem to have lost myself.”

The three groups are now gathered as one, ready to take on the shadowy forces lurking in the shadows at Garreg Mach. One one side, the Federalists, led by the Federalist Emperor, on another, Those Who Gamble in the Dark, led by the Rave Emperor, Bernedetta, and finally, the most mysterious force, the Anarchists, led by The Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades. “Well” says Claude well, “before we fight, I think it’d be a good idea to investigate those groups, and get some information about them.” Edelgard chimes in with “Not a bad idea, the Black Donkeys and I will investigate Those Who Gamble in the Dark.”. Then Dimitri adds “Joeseph and I will investigate the Federalists, since they hold the combined student body of the Blue Elephants, those I was sworn to protect…”. This sounds good to me, so I add “then we’ll go after the Anarchists. I need to talk to their leader.”

The seven of us agree on this course of action, and resolve to start working immediately, heading back up the stairs to the dining hall. But when we get up there, we’re greeted by and Excited Byleth and Corrin, who announce that the Fishing Tournament is tomorrow. Claude, Dimitri, and Edelgard agree to postpone their espianoge until after the tourney, to raise the moral of the students. I think that’s a pretty good idea, so we had back to our rooms to get some sleep. I get undressed, when my door busts open, Claude walking through, shirtless. I quickly cover myself with my blanket, afraid to let Claude see my malnourished body. “Hey Garth” he says, coming and sitting on my bed next to me, causing my heart to beat rapidly. “Sorry I wasn’t any help today, but you did a good job today man” he says in a smooth tone, his exposed muscles making me extremely aroused. I re-adjust my blanket stealthily and reply “thanks, this is just all so sudden, I don’t know what to do…”. But before I could continue, Claude embraced me tightly, our bare chests pressed together. We stayed like that for a few minutes, mainly because I was too shocked and ecstatic to move. 

Claude leans over and whispers in my ear, “Garth,” making me sweat a bit, nibbling my ear. I push him away softly and say, “I’m sorry Claude, I can’t, I’m in a relationship with Robin.” He understands and apologizes, letting me get some rest for tomorrow, though that’s a bit difficult now.


	17. Fishing Tourney Part 1

Waking up and it’s time for the fishing tournament, so I head over to the dock, where I see Claude and Robin sitting. Robin is wearing a short, but not indecent sundress, and Claude is wearing a loose Hawaiin shirt and cargo shorts, which fully show off his lithe legs, and reveal just a hint of his supple thighs. Robin gives a short wave, and Claude winks at me. Wiping the sweat off my brow I sit down on the dock with them. I’m a bit nervous about last night, so I pull Robin to the side. “Hey babe” I tell her. “Hi honey” she replies. “Look, I need to tell you about something that happened last night. Claude came to my room last night shirtless and we hugged shirtless and he nibbled my ear.” She thinks for a moment and says “Well normally I’d be upset, but I don’t really mind, but since it’s Claude, I don’t mind, in fact I’m even a bit jealous, maybe we should do a manage a trois?” I’d be down, so I tell her, “I’d be down”. Suddenly we hear booming footsteps coming to the dock. 

Pointing a finger at us, we hear a nasaly voice yell “Cuck!”! We look over as Bens coming to the dock looking angry. “Alright folks, listen, not only are you being a cuckold liberal, but you’re also being homosexual.” We’re all triggered now, so we prepare to have a rousing debate. Ben opens with “Alright, let’s say you’re male, now let’s say that you're attracted to a girl, so that makes you straight. But now let’s say you're attracted to a guy as well. This happened more recently, so now you’ve switched to being gay. So, now we agree, that this makes you gay!” A bold argument to be sure, but we’re not too impressed. 

“Well, I don’t think that’s quite right” says Claude, flexing both his arm and intellectual muscles, “you see, if someone is attracted to both genders, that makes them bisexual, not gay”. But now Bens, about to pop a gasket, “look! There’s no such thing as bisexual, that’s just something gay musicians pretend to be instead of admitting their gay!” Feeling that was a bit hurtful, I step in to say, “well Ben, that’s just hurtful.”. And as if he had been waiting, he snaps back with “Well fortunately, facts don’t care your feelings, and I don’t care about what you think your sexuality is!” 

Hasn’t this fool realized it yet? I have him cornered, as he’s just made a flaw in his argument. “But Ben” I say, and Claude joins in backing me up “if you don’t care about our sexuality” we says simultaneously, causing sweats to drip down Ben’s head “then why are we having this debate?”? “I-I w-well” but he can’t fathom a response and starts to short-serqet. As he’s about to lose consciousness, we hear a swish, and with a swish of her axe, Edelgard thonks him on the back, waking him up. “Wake up Ben!” edelgards loudly now “your honor is on the line! You can’t just let these miscreants trample upon our morals!” “Hmph, like I don’t know that, I was just resting my eyes.” Bens sharply back at her. Now we have to face two opponents, so it’s gonna get pretty intense.


	18. Fishing Tournament Part 2

Now, Garth” Edelgarding her axe at the ready “do you truly think entering into such a debaucherous relationship could possibly be good” she says, axe coming right at me. With a swish of my hands, I spin out my longlance, deflecting the blow while retorting “being non-heterosexual isn’t a choice! It’s simply an inclination; beside, I’m not even bi, I just like Claude!”! But as soon as I do, I see a white cloud rushing at me as Ben is attacking with his logics “oh yeah! Well if being non-heteronormative isn’t a choice, prove it!”! But I quickly try to slice the cloud into, responding that “there’s no way to do that!” But Ben’s casting again with “If being gay isn’t a choice, then prove it by being sexual with everyone of the same sex!” I try to retort, but more clouds of facts and logic keep forming and I’m about to get overwhelmed. 

At this point, a dulcet voice says, “But Ben, if we apply that logic, then you should have to be sexual with every woman!”! Ben’s recoiling in shock now, and Claude turns confidently to me winking and says “don’t worry Garth, I’ve got this!”! Suddenly, a regal voice announces “you may be saved from Ben, but I've still got an axe to grind with you!”! Turning around, I notice just in time that Edelgard’s axe is about to hit me as she yells “Being in such a scandalous relationship goes against the teachings of the Goddess!”! But before her blow can impact me, physically or spiritually, I respond by responding “Where is that stated?” Deflecting her blow with my longlance. She yells back “It’s not natural! The goddess gave us sex to bear children, and homosexual relations can’t create those!” while hucking her axe and a fireball at me. 

Meanwhile, Claude and Ben are going at it. Benign at Claude “surely you wouldn’t expect me to be such a lustful pig that I’d chase after every woman I meet!” But Claude cooly rolls out of the way, firing an arrow while saying “Oh, so does that mean you think every non-heterosexual individual is a pig?” But Ben not being taken in, smacks Claude's arrow out of the air with a copy of True Allegiance. Ben unfurls the book, and it’s beginning to glow as he responds, “That was a fallacy!” as a giant bolt of reason shoots down out of a cloud above Claude. But Claude doesn’t dodge. Instead he spins back, knocks a steel arrow, which catches the bolt, and launches in back at Ben, shouting “Fallacy fallacy! An argument is not inherently invalid because it contains a fallacy! And besides, the idea that homosexuality is an irresisteble impulse because it’s a natural inclination is a fallacy in and of itself!”! The arrow strikes Ben’s book, knocking it into the pond and sending Ben crashing down onto his behind. 

Meanwhile, Edelgard’s flame and axe are about to hit me, when 2 bolts of thunder appear, each striking one of the projectiles. I catch the now charged ax and turn around, seeing Robin who says “Just because something isn’t natural doesn’t make it wrong!” as another bolt of lighting crashes down on Edelgard. Quickly she raises a shield and defends with “Surely the abnoromaly of your dirty deeds will unsettle the other students!”! This is the final straw, so Robin and I hold each other’s free hands, and with her’s she launches a beam of lightning, while I launch my longlaunch at her, as we simultaneously say “It doesn’t matter what people think of us! If if they find our acts filthy, our love is pure and true!”! Edelgard raises her shield, but before she can, the lightning paralyzes her, and the longlance strikes her directly in her armor, knocking her off her rhythm, causing her to fall down next to Ben.


	19. Fishing Frenzy

The three of us stand over Ben and Edelgard, and they cringe in fear, but unexpectedly to them, we reach out our hands, to them, helping them up to the ground. They both smile, laugh, and hug us. “Don’t worry guys” Edelgard says to us, “we were just testing the strength of your bonds with one another, you’ll need strong ones for the upcoming trials; but you have our blessing.”. “So guys, Claude says, wrapping his arms around Robin and I, “How’s about we catch us some fish!” Hells yeah! “Hellz yes!” I say, so we head over to the dock. 

I cast out my line, and catch a bite, but have some trouble reeling it in. Eventually though I get, but it’s just a small trout. Dang. The three of us are in the Tournament as a team, so maybe Claude and Robin can carry me. “Heh, watch this!” Claudes as he ties a rope to his hand and and arrow, (though I’d rather he tied my hands, but not like the way the orphanage staff would bind our arms whenever we’d have “movie days”), and jumps into the air, and flipping upside down, seeming to float gracefully through the air. Winking, he fires the arrow, plunging it into a fish. Righting himself in the air, he yanks the rope back, and as he lands, catches in his hand a moderately sized bass. Not bad. 

Robin, not one to be outdone, giggles and says “watch this, boys!”! Pulling out her spellbook, A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf, she chants and casts out a insulated lighting net, catching a swarm of large fish and instantly freing them. It smells real good, and we go to be judged. The tournament comes to an end shortly, and the results are in. The announcer requests a drumroll, despite no drums being present, so everyone drums with their hands. I look over at Robin and Claude and notice their thighs looking succulent as they jiggle about like orange Jell-O, the best flavor. “And the results are in! The winner is…”...

…

“Team Golden, Garth, Claude, and Robin!” Everyone cheers but Robin and I eye Claude suspiciously. “What?” he says, “Team Golden Deer was already taken by Byleth and Coring!”! We look at Byleth and Coring and see them empty handed, so we hand them some of our freshly fried flounder. “Ay yo much respect, G-money. This fool couldn’t catch us a thing, every time he got a bite, he’d take a step back before reelin’ and the line would snap.”. Byleth sheepishly blushes and says, “well as you’d say Coring, it’d be like that” and we all share a chortle. “Say” I say, “Where are Dimitri and Joeseph, I haven’t seen them around?”? “Oh yeah,” remembers Byleth, “they already ran off to find and confront the Federalist Emperor.”. Hmm, they’re pretty hasty, but maybe that’s a good thing? Edelgard and Ben come over, so I tell them that “we should probably head out to do the same soon, are you two ready?” They nod their head, so they head out to the lair of Those Who Gamble in the Dark. Coring and Byleth are busy doing staffing for the tournament, so Claude and Robin follow me to the herb garden. Hey Garth, why are we here?” Robin asks, so I respond, “Well, knowing her, she has a fondness for herbs, so she should be here.”. “Garth,” Claude asks me, “you talk as if you know The Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades personally.”. “Yeah” I say, “I do”... and so we head down...


	20. Against the Federalist Emperor: Part 1 - Clash of Ideals

Light sounds echo off the stone steps as I descend into the bowels of the cathedral. “We’re almost there” I say to Joeseph. “Get ready Dimitri” he replies, and so I tighten my grip on my spear. The past few days have been such a mess. I got caught up in all the hubbub surrounding the Debate of the Eagle and Lion, and everything that happened with Those Who Gamble in the Dark, that I hadn’t taken notice of the plight of my own Blue Elephants. We emerge into a large antechamber, bookshelfs line the walls, filled with copies of the Federalist Papers, The Declaration of Independence, and the United States Constitution.

“Welcome to my chambers” the Federalist Emperor booms at us, the candlelight gleaming off of their dark green armor. “What is your aim?” I ask, gripping my spear firmly in my hands. “Much of the world's moral compass is broken. The moral north reads south and the moral south reads north; this how it’s been for many generations. But this was not always the case. In the early days of America, the founding fathers laid forth a masterful groundwork that spurred the country towards enlightenment.” Suddenly his demeanor changes, “But then,” the emperor slams his fist on the table, “they came. Those filthy areligious scum incapable of moral & ethical reasoning. They fed this country to the dogs!” he yells, slamming his other fist down too. 

“Make your point” I demand of him, “if you have one!”! “My point is this, Dimitri, our political systems have become corrupt, poisoned to the core, and my solution is to eradicate the filth from the roots, starting with that piece of trash with you!” the Federalist Emperor booms, readying their claymore, and leaping towards Joeseph. Joeseph predicting the attack, backflips through the air, whipping out a double-barrel shotgun, blasting both barrels into the Federalist Emperor, who gets knocked back by the double barrel blasts. Seeing that Joeseph needs to reload, I leap toward the Emperor, thrusting my spear at them. The quickly parry with their massive sword, and I reflexively hop back, holding my spear in position. We stare each other down before simultaneously rushing at one another. 

“What’s wrong with you!” I yell at the Emperor, “why would you do something like this?”? “For my ideals” the Emperor replies, “I would give my life!” as he slams his sword into the ground, causing a fissure to rush at me, knocking me off my balance. As he moves in for the kill, Joeseph blasts him once with his shotgun, giving me time to recover, but now his sights are set on Biden. “Foolish old man, your petty ideologies are nothing but useless platitudes!” the Emperors rushing toward Biden. “Well you see, sir” Biden replies coolly, “For too long in this society, we have celebrated unrestrained individualism over common community. You see, only by banding together and working things out, can we reach true progress!”! The Emperor unleashes a battle cry and rushes Biden, but Biden reloads a shell and unleashes both barrels at the Emperor, knocking them off balance, “besides, even if my platitudes are completely useless, there’s still a 30% chance that someone will find a use from them!”! Having fully recovered, I take the opportunity and unleash my Tempest Lance technique, knocking the Federalist Emperor to their knees. Now we have them right where we want them. Using my spear, I pry off the Federalist Emperor’s maks, revealing a shocking sight. “Y-you! Is this some kind of sick joke!?”


	21. Against the Rave Emperor: Part 1 - Party in the Dark

Light sounds echo off the stone steps as I descend into the bowels of the dining hall. “We’re almost there” I say to Ben. “Get ready Edelgard” he replies, and so I tighten my grip on my axe. The past few days have been such a mess. I got caught up in all the hubbub surrounding the Debate of the Eagle and Lion, and everything that happened with Those Who Gamble in the Dark, that I hadn’t taken notice of the plight of my own Black Donkeys. We emerge into a familiar antechamber, neon lights line the walls, filled with copious amounts of neon gas, the lights strobing in time with the bassing music. 

“Hohoho… so you return at last!” Solons at us boldly, even drowning out the music. Behind him stands the imposing unmasked visage of the Rave Emperor, Bernie. “You’ve got a real loyalty problem, haven’t you?”? I ask her, since she first left my house, and then even betrayed Garth. Bernedetta cackles mainacly, uttering “Edelgard, you foolish broad, you’d never understand our motivations, what it’s like to be unloved and forced underground by those in power. Forced to suffer in a dank basement, while you hear the sounds of the others having fun above!”! She has a point, and I hold back a single solitaire tear. 

“Come now, Bernie” Solons darkly, and the retreat into the darkness: we try to follow, but as we do, Ravers and Gamblers alike jump out from the shadows. I ready my Axe, and Ben pulls out a copy of The Right Side of History and begins chanting a list of names of people who might have had information leading to the arrest of Hillary Clinton, powering his spells with the spirits of those sacrificed for a noble cause. The Ravers whip out glow sticks and some of them rush us with giant ones, while others link them together into makeshift chockrems, hurtling them at us, while we try to dodge. I’m able to slash a few of them with my axe, but the caustic liquid’s staining my outfit, burning holes in it, nearly searing my skin. Not doing too well, I look over at Ben. 

While still chanting Hillary’s bodycount, Ben unleashes a Logic Bomb on a group of Ravers, knocking them out cold as if they’d had a sudden stroke. As he’s grinning though, he’s interrupted when a typhoon of poker chips and playing cards blasts his face. The gamblers begin hooping and hollering, and yell “get ponked on!” in unison at him, making him fuming. Ben rushes at them, and I try to cry out to him, but it’s too late, as I can’t see him anymore, as he’s surround by a sea of gamblers. 

I look back to my own issues, and notice the Ravers have constructed their glowsticks together into the shape of an atom. One of them announces, “behold, the Anti-Glowton Bomb!”! Realizing that if that thing burst, I would be nearly drowned in the corrosive chemicals, I leap back, and thinking quickly, I scoop up a bunch of the liquids on the ground with my axe, and sling them off at the bomb. It erupts prematurely, covering the Ravers in acid, knocking them out. I look to Ben, still surrounded, and accepting that I can’t save everyone on my own, I say a prayer for his safety. With that taken care of, I wipe some of the acid off my now somewhat exposed body and descend into the darkness, ready to confront Solon and the Rave Emperor for good


	22. Against the Rave Emperor: Part 2 - Royal Flush

Having persevered through the trials before, I descend into the deepest darkness of the lair of Those Who Gamble in the Dark, my armor in tatters, but my pride stronger than ever. As I come down the stairs, I hear slow clapping as I see Bernie clapping and Solon standing edgily in her shadow. “Well done making it through our forces, but I can’t help but notice your toady isn’t with you.” Bernie taunts at me, causing me to clench my fist in rage. But not losing control of my temper, I slowly draw my axe and say “No more running, Rave Emperor, you will state your intentions plainly before me now.”.

Solon cackles while saying “You’ve known our goals all along, Edie, after all, it was you who allowed us to reign freely over this underground den of pleasure!”! I grin and chuckle darkly, before replying, “You know I only used my father’s clout to secure this space for you, so that your filthy corruption wouldn’t spread to the rest of the school. Your morals are nothing short of contemptible!”! “Hmph!” Solons angrily, “that’s rich, for you to talk about something like corruption, given your…”... Unable to think of a word properly, so Bernie finishes for him “Outdated olicies!”! “Yes”, Solon continues, “your outdated policies would bring this land to ruin if allowed to pass. But it matters not! For now is the era of Those Who Gamble in the Dark!” Nodding to the Rave Emperor and she nods back. I reach out to try to stop her but it’s too late, Bernie raises her arm cannon up, and it slowly accelerates, humming and getting louder until I can barely hear myself think, and as Solon brings his hand down in a dramatic gesture, she slams her arm into the ground, sending a massive soundwave hurtling throughout the grounds of the school, knocking me clean into the wall, and I lose consciousness. 

…

Using my spear, I pry off the Federalist Emperor’s maks, revealing a shocking sight. “Y-you! Is this some kind of sick joke!?”!? “No your majesty, I assure you, it is not” says the voice of my retainer, the person I thought to be my best friend, Dedue. “D-dedue! How could you do something like this?” I ask, hardly able to contain my emotion. Dedue pauses for a moment, before chuckling deeply, sounding rather unlike himself. “There's a lot more power in calm than in vituperation,” he says, “so keep that mind before you lose control of yourself, Boar Prince.”. I recoil in shock. Dedue would never call me by that name! “Hmhmhm” he laughs, “figured it out have you?” Dedue laughs as he pulls off his face, revealing that it was actually a mask, and revealing a elderly man with smooth white hair. 

“This school, and it’s morals, in our modern time, has had a tendency toward the scatological, urine and feces, that's right! Urine, and feces!” Dennis says condescendingly, chuckling a little as he lights a cigar and says, “you know Dimitri, it’s the simple pleasures in life, things like this cigar, that add years to your life, you should try them sometime.”. Beginning to lose it, I ask, “w-who are you?”? He replies, “My name is Dennis Prager! And my dream is to turn this school into a true Prager University, to set the youth of today on the right path!” “And what have you done with Dedue?” I ask angrily. “I have taken care of him, you needn’t concern yourself with it, after all, I wouldn’t say he’s in a state to receive it anyhow, as he is no longer in this world.”

Something snaps inside of me, and unable to contain myself anymore, I fall to my knees and begin laughing maniacally, the depraved sounds echoing off the walls of the chamber, making Joespeh a little uncomfortable, but Dennis seems unphazed. Slowly getting to my feet, I point my spear at Dennis and yell, “Monster! I will tear your head from your shoulders and have it hung from the gates of the school!” and rush toward him, prepared to drive my spear through his skull. But as I’m about to pierce him, a loud blast of bass shakes the whole room, knocking us all off balance, and we topple over. We hear a lot of foot falls, and a moderately sized-group of Ravers rush into the room, surrounding the 3 of us. Exhausted from the previous fight, the 3 of us can’t fight back, so they whip out their glow sticks and close in for the finishing blow, after announcing, “Those Who Gamble in the Dark shall gamble in the dark no longer, as with the unleashing of our Ultimate Royal Straight Flush Crosswave, all of the weak-minded individuals of the school have been converted to our cause, so we can now reclaim our rightful place, gambling in the light!”!

As they’re about to bring them down on us, we hear another set of swift footsteps, and with a nasaly incantation, the ravers are blown away. Looking we see a bloodied, but still smugly grinning Ben Shapiro, a bandage tied around his right arm, which is now little more than a stump. Damn, I guess now he has to rely on the left. I smile, and begin to greet him, but Joeseph and I are engulfed in a white cloud, and are blown against the wall. As this happens, my spear is knocked from my hand, and glances my face, leaving a deep scar across my right eye as I slam into the bookshelf. Losing consciousness, I ask, “B-Ben, why?”, and as I close my good eye, I see him standing next to Dennis, their arms around each other’s shoulders, lauging obnoxiously, as I fall unconscious. 

Now alone, Dennis holds his massive sword upside down, and Ben rests his hand on it, charging it full of facts and logic. Dennis then slams into into the ground, causing deep cracks to run throughout the school, causing most of the remaining students to become conservatively minded, as they all rush to the nearest computer to pull up a list of logical fallicies to use in future debates to destroy their opponents. Now the school is split into two distinct factions, ready to fight each other to the death to ensure that their faction reigns supreme. The camera pans out to reveal a Garreg Mach on the cusp of war. But before the story continues, we first need to take a step back to see what Garth and company have been up to. Stay tuned for the epic finale to part 1 of Fire Emblem: Three Political Houses


	23. A Valuable Encounter

As we enter the herb garden, we quickly realize that the entrance to the lair of The Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades will not be found easily. For one, the entrance to the lair of The Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades isn’t out in the open, it’s rather well hidden. Upon hearing this, Robin is struck with a burst of inspiration and begins snooping around. Claude and I raise an eyebrow, but she’s our girlfriend now so we trust her. “Aha! I’ve found it” she announces, having found the entrance to the lair of The Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades. We look and see her pointing down a well, at the bottom of which we see a gastly green fire burning in the shape of a leaf, which seems pretty right to us.

Guarding our loins, we begin to rappel down the well, entering the lair of The Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades. Strangely, we aren’t attacked upon entering, and instead we see Corrin and Byleth waving at us in the distance. Thinking it’s suspicious, we focus and see them looking kinda hazy. With my experience from being around my parents, I realize this is a drug induced illusion. Looking around we notice the figures of Corrin and Byleth floating around. “Look out” I say “these seem to be weed illusions!”! Robin charges Claude with the power of wind, and he fires an arrow through the illusive smoke clouds, turning them into harmless vapor. With that out of the way, we pass through, feeling in a pretty good mood for some reason. 

Going down some stone steps, we emerge into a humble chamber, where sits a desk. The Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades is nowhere to be found, but there’s a note on the desk. “hey Garth” it says “sorry I couldn’t be here, i had to peace out, probably like you all are now with the smoke haha, anyway a bunch of big changes are coming to the school here, damn governmentals fighting, trying to push (but not in the good way haha) their agendas by creating fake conflict, but anyway, I’m glad we got to meet here briefly, I’m sure I’ll be back soon enough, and we can enjoy some brownies (but not the ones your parents make, they taste funny) and ham and pineapple pizza around the bonfire, anyway take care”. Wow, what a revelation. Who would have guessed that The Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades was actually Val? “Wow” I say, “who would have guessed that The Empress of the Macabre Flames of Hades was actually Val?” to Claude and Robin. 

Turning back to leave, we head back toward the well, when we hear footsteps. This time, it’s the real Corring and Byleth, not the weed illusions. “Ay yo, Garth! We gotta bounce! Some real shiz boutta go down!” Corings exasperatedly at us, and Byleth backs him up with “We need to get out of here!” So we get out of there. We climb to the top of a nearby hill, and look down upon the school. From the dining hall, we hear a loud blast of bass, and from the cathedral we hear a loud crash and see from both shockwaves coming toward us. Byleth, understanding that this situation requires a different approach, raises his Center Sword to the sky and yells, “Ruptured Heaven!” causing the sword to unfurl and twist around us, creating a protective sphere. The shockwaves batter us hard, but as long as we’re firmly in the center of the sphere, we’re unaffected. 

Suddenly, everything freezes before me. My vision fades to black and white. I suddenly see a posible future, one where I hide like this, and war ravages the school. “No” I say “this cannot come to pass”.” And looking to professor Byleth I do a deep breath and take a step forward leaving the protective barrier. Claude and Robin begin to call out to me, but I am deaf to their voices. As I step out onto the hill, the two giant waves strike me at the same time. I fall to my knees and clutch my knees in great pain, but ultimately stand up. The two opposing ideologies batter me hard, but I open my mind and accept both of them. As I do this, light flashes all around repelling the waves back and shattering Byleth’s barrier. 

As they exit the sphere they’re all shocked to see me, and I’m shocked too. Having absorbed the wave energies, my hair has turned a brilliant white, and is now long down to my waist. Byleth comes and lais his hand on my shoulder, acknowledging me now as the true Enlightened One. I picked up my longlance and see it now has 2 tips, 1 blue 1 red, and blends to purple at the center. My longlance has now become the Bipartisan. I lift it up and slam it into the ground, and bright violet wave flashing across that campus, getting their attention. I speak out in a commanding voice, “Dennis Prager, Solon! Meet me and let us settle our battle here, once and for all!” The wind begins to how as the sun sets, creating the backdrop for the final battle. 


End file.
